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Yasha, the main character of I. When he is in front of people and in a social context he is — literally — a great performer. He is a magician, an acrobat, and a lover. Through all of these characters, he makes his audience happy. But Singer introduces him to the reader in midlife. What he feels inside of himself or when alone conflicts with the face he shows to the world. His dual character shows us that beneath all of his public appearances he is actually very anxious and worried about his life and future.
There are two very interesting parts of the novel that come one-after-another. One — so to speak — hides the other. Through this literary device, the reader gets an acute sense that comedy hides a darker face. Singer suggests that this darkness prompts the main character to not only face death but to reflect on the meaning of faith.
His aging and the falling away of one world and the beginning of another prompt him to find what is ordinarily a farce or a happy scene as grotesque. Why does he need to be chained to an audience that feeds off of him like a parasite? Maybe he should put his life on pause and change direction.
Maybe its better not to become famous, which, as I noted in my last post, is a major impetus for him to leave Lublin for Warsaw and Warsaw for Central Europe and America and become a star performer? Maybe, the large world, the fame, the expansion outward is a trap, an illusion? He feared this portent and tried to banish it from his mind, to mollify it, erase it — but it kept returning.
Would he grow sick? Was he, God forbid, due to die? Or was it something else altogether? He placed his hands on his forehead, rubbed his scalp, his cheekbones, enveloped himself in a blind darkness. He would himself into too many entanglements. He had driven himself into a dilemma. He loved and desired Emilia who, as I pointed out in my last entry , wants him to convert to Catholicism and marry her in Warsaw …But how could he inflict such an outrage against Esther his wife in Lublin?
