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I'm a year-old divorced mum who's just started dating again after nearly three years. I tried dating men in their mid-forties and fifties, but it never clicked. So, I took a chance and started dating guys in their late twenties and early thirties. I ended up in an unexpected relationship with a year-old, and it's one of the best and healthiest relationships I've ever had.
But at a recent dinner party, one of my close friends jokingly called me a 'cougar,' and the joke quickly caught on with the group. While I'm usually pretty laid-back and will happily admit I enjoyed some of the attention from younger guys on dating apps, being labelled a 'cougar' feels a little insulting. It seems to imply that my interest in younger men is something laughable or predatory. It's made me wonder if there's something wrong with my midlife dating choices or if I'm just being overly sensitive.
Am I making too much of this, or are my friends being inconsiderate? That man has been legally allowed to drink, vote and lay naked at nudist beaches for the last nine years! So let me just say kudos to you for diving back into the dating pool with such gusto. Dating younger guys is really having a moment right now.
And trust me, I have met enough Peter Pans men who refuse to grow up in their 40s and 50s to know that age is but a number. Now, about this 'cougar' business. Look, I get it. When I hear that word, the first thing that comes to mind is Stifler's mum and it does sound a bit icky. So yes, it can sting a little when it feels like people are reducing you to a punchline. But here's the thing: your dating life is your own, and if you're happy and it's working, that's what truly matters.
Okay, not really. But think of it this way - if they're joking about it, it's probably because they find it fascinating or intriguing. And if you've got a great thing going with this younger guy, then your friends' comments are just background noise to your fabulous new love and I'm assuming sex life. You're not being overly sensitive; you're just in tune with how words can sometimes cut deeper than intended. So, I say enjoy your brand spankin' new relationship and let the naysayers deal with their own receding hairline, bad back partners.