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Some are Will Styler originals, some were given to me by friends, and many were found around the web. All are just awful. Since many of these were found online, and many have been passed around for years before online was a thing, I claim no copyright or otherwise on these puns, and unless a specific source is noted, the source is unclear, or perhaps, me. Presented in no particular order, with long-form puns or puns with similar attribution separated out.
Did you know deer can jump higher than the average house? Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change their situation, chose a very subtle rebellion. None of the guards noticed this was going on for many months, until finally, a young lieutenant was caught ticking by a senior SS Captain walking behind the line.
A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat.
Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station. A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk asks if it has any luggage. Did you hear about the woman who loved making archery supplies? Every day she went to work, she quivered with joy! One day, on the savannah, a lion, a cheetah, an elephant and a warthog were all sitting around after their respective meals and discussing which species has the biggest potential for success.
The elephant suggested that they settle this, once and for all, and that they take a cue from humans and test this by starting their own businesses, and then checking in in a month to see who did best. Finally, a month had passed, and the elephant, cheetah, warthog, and lion met up again with their bank statements to try and guess who might win. The other animals asked Cheetah what went wrong. Did you hear that Cray computing is working on a new supercomputing cluster designed specifically to simulate mental illness?
