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I said some sassy comment, some quip. How remarkable that, just a few years later, a generation of people would come to use a word once associated with so much hate and violence to arm ourselves. Depending on whom you ask, there are a million conflicting meanings for the word. Many still see it as a degrading slur.
Many others embrace it with pride. Growing up, I identified as bisexual. While I find cisgender men attractive, I am not authentically me when I date them. Identities are personal, but they are also how we advertise ourselves, so they are often very circumstantial, too.
So yes, queer-bashing was literally a childhood ritual. As an adult, I've been harassed with these same slurs. So I understand why generations before me balk at the word. I'm a year-old woman who identifies as queer. In middle school, I knew I was attracted to guys and girls. I dated a few women before marrying a man. The relationship was abusive, so I left and started dating a gender-nonconforming human. I know different people have different perspectives, but for me, it represents an inclusive umbrella term that speaks to me.
Moreover, my preference for "gay" speaks to my age. Previous generations have a strong aversion to the term. This is part of the term's history — it was and still is a word used to hurt us that has been reclaimed. Reclamation is powerful, but I also understand how those who lived through some of the darkest days of legal and societal discrimination are not comfortable using a slur that was sometimes used alongside physical violence in a celebratory way.
For me, queerness encompasses my sexual identity as someone uncomfortable with binary presentation. It also encompasses my rebuke of cisgender and heteronormative privilege and the intersection of these privileges with white privilege. My queerness encompasses that voice, my voice, as a Black, male-assigned, non-binary individual who harshly critiques the status quo. I believe in taking power back from words used to dehumanize us.
